I have been busying myself learning to be. My latest and greatest trajectory has put me on a good course. I feel less preoccupied with planning and more centered in the moment, even if it has meant getting a lot of work done. What I have been doing lately is getting my book, Waking Sky, ready for publication, as well as submitted to self publishers, which is what I have decided to do after being rejected by quiet a few publishers, while not wanting to keep trying.

Self publishing may seem counterintuitive, but it’s actually what I want to do and also what I initially planned on doing. While observing everything that is going on around the country, including my state of Minnesota, with ICE and all the protests, it has made me want to take a more passive role as an observer, not wanting to involve myself in the partisan divide. I am not left or right. What I have been feeling, however, is more centered. I also want to stay that way, as in present and grounded.

Besides, the prophecies in Isaiah 63:3 and Revelation 15:7 even say that I am experiencing these prophecies alone. I may not be totally alone, considering how many friends I now have, but I don’t really have a fan base, nor am I supposed to.

For some time now, I have though media attention and celebrity status is extremely over rated. I am so grateful that despite the tips I leave with law enforcement, I am so grateful that I am not constantly needing to be surrounded by security. I cannot stress enough how nice anonymity is. If I were to leave the world with some sort of message, it would be that being unknown is not overrated, but being overly idolized would be.

My new and improved life looks like this: I now mediate twice a day, I have been doing yoga at home pretty often, I hold a part-time job that I love, I regularly talk to all the friends I now have, and I engage in all the hobbies that I enjoy, such as listening to music and keeping up with current events, but just from a distance, as live music and political commentary do not interest me much anymore, even if I thought I should mention how I spend my time.

What I further want to communicate is that life has been very good to me lately. I feel less stressed than I was when I started to blog. Even my watch analytics for HRV have improved. I think being on anti-anxiety med has helped, but I think mainly it is just having been admitted into a school that has offered me a lot of inspiration. I start classes there soon, but until then I will keep working on developing an authentic life, which I am realizing more and more is not so much about radius or voice, but rather connections made and resonance established, even if it’s not on a macro scale.