Although we are working with boundaries now in my authenticity course, I wanted to do a quick blog to share some good news. Since setting goals has been such a big part of my upheaval, due to not feeling like I cannot maintain them, I seemed to have blown in a good direction that I really am hoping that I stick with this agenda.

I applied to Maharishi International University, which is a Transcendental Meditation school out of Iowa. Although I wanted to do an MFA in creative writing there, I took a turn towards the Consciousness and Human Potential program. That program was the one that I was at first drawn to, but then I thought the writing might be more useful, if only I didn’t completely crawl out of my own skin when I think about overly sharing my experiences. So instead, I applied to MIU, I got into the program after an interview, and then I accepted the request eagerly, as it’s what makes the most sense to me right now, and has ever since I applied and got accepted on Tuesday, January 13th.

I’m ecstatic! I start the online courses February 9th – and so far I have been consistently wanting to go. It’s scary to make that financial commitment, but at least it will give me something to think about. Planning is like my version of chewing on a bone or something, with college coursework being like my version of playing fetch. If I am going to be compared to a dog, I guess those are my susceptibilities.

I really hope this program sticks. I know that when people write out their goals, they’re more likely to achieve them, so here I am doing that very thing to ensure that I can get through these hard times and stick with my remedies!

Although I am only a few weeks into my authenticity course, it has been helping me sort through these dilemmas. Sometimes I feel like I have some rough edges when it comes to certain politics which are discussed, after all, I just came out of a government mind control program that was set on war, but the peaceful nature of the group and the lingering conversations has been putting me in a state of bliss. I managed to go to Echo Bodine’s healing center yesterday and got some reiki from the teacher of my authenticity course, as well as some good advice from another provider who was a yoga teacher and a reiki healer.

Unfortunately, I don’t think I was greeted with such compassion when I applied to do another online healing program through the center because the healer emailed me back and sounded upset when I told her my story and then I just never heard back when I tried explaining. People can get really upset over my situation sometimes, which adds to me being very intimidated by sharing, as I have been met with some very hostile reactions, and those reactions even haunt me sometimes in my dreams.

Now that it is Sunday, I am winding down and trying to clear that negativity out of my mind. I just did some yoga through YouTube and so I feel relaxed as I conclude my week.

I have an eventful week planned this week, which includes hopefully a meeting with my new mentor made possible from a program with people with disabilities that are seeking career advice. I also am going to share my story with Breaking Free, which is a sex trafficking non-profit that I have been seeking services with for years. I am pretty much a success story there, despite all my struggles. It will be nice to give back and have my story featured on their website. I hope that will help give me the confidence to finally do my podcast with The Edge Magazine. Until then, I will keep working on myself as I continue to map out my life, with me holding back certain plans at the moment in hopes that I do not speak before I change, which tends to sometimes even jinx my plans after I switch, even if writing them out can help.

For now, I am going to log off and relax for the rest of the night. It’s been a long few days of working, and so I want the rest of my Sunday evening to myself.